My Final Wishes

  1. I do not want to live in a vegetative state in the hopes I may someday wake up.  What they did to people like Terri Schiavo is not fair and it’s not life.  I think we’re less cruel to our animals.
  2. Quality of life is more important to me than quantity.  Having fifty years with my husband where he must struggle to be my caregiver is not a life; I’d rather five good years than fifty bad ones.
  3. I do not want a feeding tube unless it is as temporary as an NG tube.  PEG tubes usually lead to the death of the patient.  Besides, I love food and what comes out of that bottle might be nutrition, but it sure as hell isn’t food.
  4. I want to donate whatever organs they will allow me to donate.  After this, I’m not sure there’s anything left, but at least offer it.  If I can spare anyone the pain of losing a loved one, I want to.
  5. I wish for no means of artificial life support; my code status is to be DNR/DNI.  You see them get the code cart for me, you beat them with a stick.
  6. I do not wish to die in a hospital or hospice.  I want to die at home surrounded by all the people I love.  I always feared dying alone; I now know that’s not going to happen and I refuse to take my last breath in a cold, sterile hospital room with some nosy, busy nurse calling my time of death.
  7. After I die, I want to be freeze dried, shattered and placed in a dirt box under a tree.  I want to tree to be placed someplace memorable to me and my husband; namely the Mazanec family cabin.  For more information on this process, please see Stiff, the Curious Lives of Human Cadavers.
  8. I would like the eulogy I wrote, sans the part about being a mother since I was clearly optimistic at the time, read at my funeral.  It’s my lesson to the world, my final words, and it would mean a lot to know they were heard by the people that mean most to me.
  9. Please, someone take care of my husband.  He’ll be hurting and, as I’ve pointed out in my blog, I fear most what my demise will do to him.
  10. After my funeral, celebrate please.  I did enough crying for all of us and I never really liked the whole crying funeral thing.  Have a sock hop, or play laser tag.  Do something fun and unexpected with it.  I’d have liked that.




3 thoughts on “My Final Wishes

  1. Maret says:

    The freeze dry thing seems kind of cool. And I vote for laser tag. Is it weird that I’m not being “oh don’t worry this will be 50 yrs from now” I’m not saying it wouldnt be just want be there for you how ever I can….sorry. You can tell me to delete it if I said the wrong thing.

  2. jdp64 says:

    My beloved daughter, everything you requested will be as you wished, if it is the last thing I do. You do not have to worry about Milo, Dad and I will be there for him for as long as he needs us.

    Perhaps being with someone who loves him as their own will make it a tad easier.

    One thing. I don’t know if I will be able to party. What I really want to know is that you would be safely in the arms of Jesus. Give Him your heart, accept what He went through as personally for you. Believe in Him and someday we will all be together again for all eternity.


  3. Amar says:

    Hi. I’m a medical student at Mount Sinai and I happened to stumble upon this blog during a study break one evening. I just have to say that your words have renewed my faith as a future physician in the awe-inspiring strength and determination of patients. I’ll be praying for you. Till then, keep kicking cancer’s ass and making sure you get to do all the things you’ve always wanted to do.

Support is always welcome.

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