Generosity

One of the most interesting things about cancer is how your perception changes once diagnosed.  I like to think I was a classic realist (per myself, others might have called me a bit of sarcastic pessimist).  As much as I tried to believe the good in people, I tended to be let down often enough that I stopped trying.  I was always planning for the best and worst case scenarios (admittedly, I still tend to), which drove my husband absolutely crazy.  Once they doctor confirmed that I had cancer, however, things changed.  I found myself believing that I was going to survive cancer no matter what.  Even when I falter slightly, deep down inside I know for sure I will be here five or ten years from now.  It’s amazing that I’m so confident, even when sometimes I feel like a scared little girl.

Yet, it isn’t just my belief in my survival that caused this change; it’s people as well.  Facebook had reconnected me with old friends that have become a support system for me.  They give me tips on healthy diets, offer me a shoulder to cry on and encourage me to keep going no matter what.  They send me messages of love and encouragement, which gets me through rough weekends of chemo treatments and nausea.  Friends I didn’t even realize would care have just amazed me with how open and loving they are.

Even my coworkers have amazed me; not only do they check in on me almost daily, they instantly grab me in hugs when they see me and they are genuinely concerned.  And they have been generous.  My unit collected money for a gift card so I could have entertainment when I was receiving my long treatments.  In a time when money is short for everyone and sparing cash is difficult, these people dug into their pockets and their hearts to do something kind for me.  I don’t know if I deserve it.

I can’t even begin to thank all the people for what they are doing.  What I know is that these people are changing my life and my view on the world.  I feel loved and beyond blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.  How can I not be optimistic about my outcome when so many people are giving me reason to?  I am going to push through this just so I can find a way to thank each and every one of them for what they have done for me.  I love them all.

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2 thoughts on “Generosity

  1. Paula C says:

    Janine,
    As always you are an inspiration to us all. I truly believe you can and WILL beat cancer. I am happy you find yourself surrounded in hugs and well wishes. A positive outlook is just one more tool to help you along your way to healing. I pray for you daily now and will continue to do so. I am happy to hear you are finding comfort through the well wishes we all send. Believe me, I meant every word and no others do to. Although no one wants to ever discover they have cancer, knowing allows for treatment, and treatment can lead to a long healthy life for you.

    I love you my friend and although after college we drifted apart I still think of you often and want only the best for you. I am so thankful you have the support of family, friends and your dear husband. Please know I am here for you and will gladly come to Tucson whenever needed, Call if you need me to help with anything, or just be there to lean on in person. In my heart, I honestly believe through prayer, good thoughts, modern medicine and a ever-growing support system you will be ok. Always keep your chin up, don’t forget to laugh and even cry occasionally and feel free to call on those around you when you need it. I am here for you today, tomorrow and always if you need me. Blessings to you as you continue your battle against this horrible beast called
    cancer.

    Love,
    Paula

  2. Sara says:

    🙂 You WILL beat this!!!

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